Title: sweetlove

Gender: Female

Age: 40

Sun Sign: Gemini

Chinese Sign: Earth Monkey

Location: Pontiac, Michigan

I am a child of the 70's - post civil rights movement. First in my family to go to a desegregated school. I saw racism of course, but I also learned to see people as individuals, which has helped me a great deal in my life and career. My family was not churchgoers, but my Mom did introduce me to a Presbyterian church a few blocks from our house and when she didn't feel like going, I'd go by myself at around age 9/10, or take friends from around the corner with me. I was about 11 or 12 when I decided that the people at church weren't really interested in me spiritually and I stopped going. Around age 13, I attended a Baptist Church and became filled with the Holy Spirit as they call it - whatever you call it, I felt a profound sense of love, peace and gratitude that night and though it was short lived, I never forgot about it. Fast forward to age 15, had my first child - 17, wanted to save that child from a troubled world and uncertain future (would the end come in our lifetime?) so I joined Jehovah's Witnesses and served them faithfully for 12 years. But I burned out - too many meetings, so many demands and no room for me to be who I AM. My husband chose to remain in service to the Watchtower Organization so I took our 4 children and my eldest son (whom my husband immediately disowned after being the only father my child ever knew) and struck out on my own. It was extremely difficult at times but we bonded together and I began to grow, to take my place, and attempt to fill my space in the universe.

Then the time came when I began to long for God again and to feel his presence and influence in my life - but the former structure of the Witnesses would not do. I felt that my relationship with God had always been my own and that no one had the right to try and regulate that - or to tell me how God felt about me, wanted me to do or not to do. When I would visit a Church I would pick it apart to see if I felt that the spirit of God was there and if that was someplace that I needed to be. Nope. Didn't need that. I eventually came across an ex-Jehovah's Witnesses discussion board that helped to debunk the junk I had been taught by them. Those great and fear inspiring prophesies about the Great Day of Jehovah, and his pouring his anger out upon the whole earth (oohhh, shudder!) that and the fear and anxiety it produced vanished - poof! And I was FREE!

For some time I just let all my beliefs go and even questioned if I truly believed that there is a God or original source, first cause, higher power or creator.

The discovery of the Jehovah's Witness (JW) site was only the first of many incidents leading me to discover MY truth. I eventually came across Ode magazine and began opening up to a different perspective - one where WE, I, am responsible for this planet and my fellow inhabitants. One article in particular discussed belief in religion and whether or not we actually KNOW the truth - or should just admit that we do not know. So I decided then that it was OK for me to admit that I don't know. But in my heart I still needed to find out. Tom Atlee from the co-intelligence institute contacted me, I still cannot recall how he connected with my work e-mail address but I'm glad that he did … it was another step for me to expand my own consciousness. Then a succession of books, magazines and people, The Science of Getting Rich, Three Magic Words, Ian Browde, Namaste Yoga and Zaadaz… my journey continues

Member Since: Thursday, September 21 2006

Last Visit: 258 days ago.

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